Things you figure out quickly when you have a toddler

When you first have  children and they are tiny babies  in your arms you start to learn new things about being a parent where everything is all cute and lovely and “oh my god we need to take a picture!”

They learn to crawl, walk and talk which is amazing to see them grow but as we are so focused on them learning new thing and us clapping along to if your happy and you know it

They have become…..TODDLERS!!!

You have never known thirst unless you’re a toddler who is  going to bed.

You’ve fed them, wiped them, dressed them, gone through the bathroom routine of toilet, drink and teeth, tucked them into bed with a story and a kiss goodnight the night is now yours.


You could be stranded in the Sahara Desert with no water, having to walk miles in the blistering heat but you still would be nowhere near as thirsty as my child who can’t sleep because they need a drink.

Food on your plate is no longer yours and it tastes so much better.

Food is the biggest problem with toddlers because they hate everything green, doesn’t smell like sweets or just looks like it wont taste nice.

So you go the extra mile as the awesome parent you are, you make their favourite food, you even put it on their special plate, you let them help you set the table and make a big deal about how is there favourite.

They are all excited asking when it will be ready and their saying that they can’t wait, you place the plate of food in front of them that they have been pestering you for and wait.

“I’m not hungry”

Guaranteed you sit down to eat yours and within seconds there is a tiny figure standing staring at your plate telling you how nice is looks and how does it taste.

It wouldn’t be so bad but they happen to bring the fork in with them for tasting purposes of course.

Poo and Farts are the funniest thing in the world.

Do you remember the days where peek a boo would make them giggle and then you would giggle and you would all giggle together?

Well try that now.

Nothing is funnier to a toddler than poo or farts, my toddler happens to do a I did a poo dance in the toilet whenever he’s finished.

In conversations your either a poo head or they are laughing at the face they just farted and ran away .

For example my 2-year-old girl  was sat on the sofa deeply into watching Paw Patrol on the TV, being quiet until she lets of this tiny little fart, giggles for a couple of seconds and carries on watching TV.

I would like to say they grow out of this but I just read out this header to Cheryl and the word fart made me laugh so my kids have no hope.

They turn into tiny salesmen

I sit and watch these political debates on the TV and talk shows where they have very strong opinions.

I would like to put these people up against my children and them debate why is ok for them to eat chocolate for breakfast.

They always have a countering argument for any comment you make saying no and the reasons why it’s not a bad idea.

To get the sale or in this case whatever they are after they with pull out the big guns where nothing is off-limits using tactics like crying, begging, guilt, creeping, making deals ans of course sulking.

After a long hard battle there has to be a winner lets just hope you plead your case harder.

Favourite songs on repeat 

Your children used to have favourite songs when they were babies I hear you say.

Yes but they didn’t know how to work various pieces of technology better than most adults.

This comes with if they like a video or song then you damn sure know about it because it will stay on repeat until you can’t take it anymore.

Ever heard of Baby Shark? (Check out my video of baby shark with the toddlers here)

Then you feel my pain.


Daddy Giraffe x












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