Things I didn’t see myself saying as a parent

As a child you would hear your parents say things to you that didn’t make much sense like “If you don’t stop crying I’ll give you something to cry about”

Or having to correct you about the most random things you would do as a child like.

As a parent there a few things I have had to say to my children that made me just shake my head and wonder if that actually happened.

I would like to share with you my top things I didn’t expect I would have to say to my children.

Get you finger out your bum!

Freddie is now at that age where he is forever holding his willy or scratching his bum, the kid is obsessed.

we think sometimes it’s because he need a wee but no he just likes holding it.

One day his hands were down his trousers and I’m thinking he is scratching him bum again like he does but I notice he’s doing a lot more than that so I shout get your finger out your bum, which then involves the next step of me chasing him around to clean his hands and him thinking hilarious.

Keep it up and I’ll ground you so you have to go outside.

Now I know what your thinking, well if we ground our kids we take their phones, laptop, TV or there no allowed to go out.

Well not Ellie!

We can’t get her to leave the house, if we take her phone, she will watch TV or even worse read a book!

If we ground her to stay in she will snuggle on the sofa under a blanket and watch a film so the treat of going out doors and playing with her brother is enough to get her to buck her ideas up.

Stop wiggling your bum! 

This is to my 2-year-old who discovers she loves to wiggle her bum.

When we say to her Bethie stop wiggling your bum she looks at us and shouts…

”It’s wiggle time!”

Which just makes her do it more.

No homework on the 6 week holidays!

Yes we really did have to say this to Harry on the 6 week holiday.

Not only did we have to tell him to cut back on his homework and extra homework but also his teachers had to tell him to tone it down.

After he try’s to do some and we tell him no you would have sworn his life was over, what such mean parents we are.

No there is no A or U in shoe

This would make sense is it was my four-year old but sadly it wasn’t.

It was our very smart very clever daughter Ellie who turned to us and asked the question straight-faced waiting for an answer.

Of course she was met with laughter and once she realised what she had said she was left very red face and even now at 13 she hasn’t lived it down and will be brought up on her wedding day or any special events.

I’m sure some of you can relate with these things your children have said but I would love to hear yours.

Daddy Giraffe x




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