Mental Health living with Personality Disorder & how to manage it

Mental Health is still a taboo subject amongst a lot of people, if you are labelled with any sort of Mental Health people tend to have made their own minds up instantly some of the misconceptions and views can be changed if people would just listen and learn to get a better understanding of Mental Health.

They must be dangerous – No this isn’t the case at all, sometimes we do struggle with our emotions but it is mainly an inward struggle that the majority of people try to contain. People with Mental Health are not dangerous people, no more and anyone else they just struggle a little more to interact or express their feelings in a way that sometimes is suitable to society.

Something must have happened to them at an early age to get like this – In some cases depending on what a person is diagnosed it does reflect their outcome, but in cases like mine there is no reason to why I am like this or why my brain is wired this way. I’m placed on medication to prevent any anger but just talking and cognitive therapy is the way forward to help me manage life this way and to move forward in a positive way.

We must treat them different – No this is one that upsets me the most, when people know you have a Mental Illness things instantly change from people avoiding you because they feel awkward, talking slower to you for some reason in case you have forgotten the ability to listen, being overly nice to you frightened they may offend you in any way instead of just talking to you as normal and the old-fashioned “How are you feeling” looking at you like they pity you when your just trying to live a normal life-like anyone else in this world.

I was hiding this illness for so long to the point of breaking where little tasks just wasn’t happening, I avoided talking to people, interacting with people unless I felt comfortable with them because unfortunately with my condition is Schizophrenia where I would be listening to all kind of noise and voices feeding me all sorts of information making it hard not only to concentrate on what people are saying but to give them the attention the needed. I would rather look lazy and ignorant than having people know what I was going through

When I was diagnosed after years of appointments I was placed on 2 different types of medication, the first was a tablet taken twice a day to help with the mood swings making them manageable and a little less frequent these would make me sleepy, the second tablet also twice a day was a Epilepsy tablet to stop mild Epilepsy which I am currently have scans for which should be fun, who doesn’t want to be stuffed inside a giant polo right?

With struggling to battle my Mental Health in secret and with Cheryl not being able to tell anyone this would take its toll to the point it would drive my family apart making us unhappy, this would be my lowest point in life to date I am a strong person and can handle a fair bit but at this point I was rock bottom, I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t do drugs and yet I’m at the point of being suicidal. I would go for would go for walks and just look at the flats where I used to live and think it would be so easy just one step and its done. I would dream of it and wake up the next day and feel sad that I woke up alive and had to live another day. Trying to hide that from your partner, family and friends was something I felt I had to do to protect them and not burden them with the issues until one day it slipped out in a stern talk between me and Cheryl and that was it she jumped on that straight away and did her very best to help me out a hole where I saw no way off getting out or even wanting to get out of if I’m honest.

Calls to the Crisis team, Doctors and Medical Health teams and I was seen straight away where I was now placed on more medication a strong anti-depressant which seems to be doing the trick, I had a good talk to myself and with Cheryl and decided I was going to beat this and come out a better person through the other side of the tunnel. So here I am a slightly damaged individual who would rather be known as an asshole then have the truth known that I’m suffering, but with the help from loved ones I’m in a better place and getting better.

So please if you’re in the same situation or a similar situation to me then talk to some one like the links below, talk to a friend, family, a professional or hell I don’t even know you but you can talk to me and I will talk to you because no matter how alone you feel you are all worth it every single one of you and you deserve to be here just as much as the next person.

Take care of yourselves

Daddy Giraffe x





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