I want to take time from posting about the children and mental illness to focus on something very important in my life, something I took for granted, something that I didn’t really appreciate or give the credit where it was deserved.
This of course is my beautiful fiancée Cheryl.
We have had it rough and more than we have had good times but still we are together which says a lot for her character as a person and the love she has for me.
Did I return it in the way I should have?
No, instead I continued pushing her and others away, meaning to or not it still resulted in the same thing, hard times and a lot of sadness.
This woman, mother, daughter and all round special person deserves the world and more!!
If I could give it all to her I would without even thinking about it, over the past few day I have had time to take things in and do a lot of thinking.
I’ve come to a few conclusions…
- I now appreciate everything she does not only for me but for our family, when you are in the same house together most of the time to don’t tend to see these things but I see everything she does now from cleaning, looking after the children to making sure we all have everything we need. She is way more organised than I am and I found that out quickly once she was gone.
- How much I miss her, the first night I thought great I will get to star fish in the big bed, it never happened like than instead I turned over and realised she wasn’t there and thought I couldn’t do this the rest of my life knowing she wouldn’t be by my side, or in another room so that I can hug her or tell her I love her.
- That I needed this time to change how I am towards her and people, I don’t tell her near enough or show her near enough how much she means to me, i’ve made some huge mistakes but I would marry that girl tomorrow if I could.
- How much the kids rely on their mom, sure daddy cuddles are good but they are nowhere near as good as mommy cuddles, I think they all cant wait to see her and who can blame them.
I knew from the second I saw Cheryl that she would be the one I want to spend my life with and I’m damn sure about it now, things will change when she gets home and I tell and show her what she means to this family and never let her go.
Cheryl I love you to the moon and back and even more than that and you will see everyday that your loved and appreciated, not just as a mom but as a partner, lover and an equal.
Daddy Giraffe x