On my journey to raise awareness for people to open up and talk about Mental Health so that this taboo subject is broken I have always said never have the feeling of guilt for suffering Mental health.
But today I broke my own rule.
I’ve said in a previous post that I am concerned about my young boy Freddie possibly having Autism.
He is showing some of the key signs for a while such as lack of concentration, memorising certain things and just repeating them over and over, also he wont look at you when you’re talking to him.
Freddie’s mom has had her suspicions for a long time but I was in denial and thought it was just Freddie being Freddie, but today was different.
After a long time of Cheryl asking for help to have him assessed which fell on deaf ears, I had seen it for myself as I tried to get him to tell me about his story of the week and he wouldn’t look at me while telling me or his nursery worker.
I decided enough was enough and spoke to his class key worker and expressed my concerns about Freddie and also to the SEN of the nursery who will give us the help we need from this point on.
Afterwards all i could think and do was to blame myself for this.
Was this my fault?
Did my own Mental Health do this or have some sort of effect on the poor boy?
I couldn’t help but feel responsible for this happening, even with reassurance from Cheryl that it’s 100% not my fault I still shed a tear and felt so bad.
I know deep down that there is nothing I could have done to cause this or prevent this if it turns out that it is in fact Autism.
All I know is I will love this little boy regardless of what happens he is my little superhero!
Daddy Giraffe x