I was diagnosed with personality disorder which is the mixture of Bi-Polar and Schizophrenia, this would explain my rapid mood change and the fact living with me is like living with 7 different people, so instead of standing in a room and talking to myself like a nut job I have decided to write an open letter instead.
Dear me, myself and I
I have decided to take some time out to write to a letter and address you all individually.
Firstly let me start with a simple YOU SUCK!!
Depression I would like to start with you, every time you seem to catch me on a low day or when something slightly goes wrong, with this you pounce like a lion waiting in the grass for its prey and once you have a hold I just can’t seem to shake you off.
You bring on tears, fears and thoughts of self harm but you’re not unbeatable and you fade with help and support, there are more of us than you so you will never win no matter how low I am I will not give you that satisfaction!
Anxiety you are something new and something I have never dealt with before, once a happy, outgoing and confident person you seem to have brought of a nervousness in me which I do not like, you put me in a constant state of fight or flight mode every time the door knocks or someone walks toward me.
Again you wasn’t there before so you can be gone just as easily, step by step I will venture out into the world again confident and without fear of the unknown.
Rage….oh you are the pain in my ass!!
You come out of no where over the stupidest of things and just appear out the shadows like a constant unwelcome relative. You bring sadness to everyone you come into contact with, you destroy lives, break up families and just leave destruction everywhere you go without any remorse or cause.
You wont go no matter what I do….Therapy, tablets, counselling or deep breaths you just stood there poking me with a pointed object waiting for me to snap just to sit back and watch the carnage unfold.
You are the Chinese whisper in ear that smiles when they tell me, you can go F**K Yourself
And finally we come to the one that we have named Maureen, you are cold,dead eyed and when your here it’s like people are talking to someone completely different. There is simply no emotion just a blank expression and nastiness.
With this letter I just want to let you all know that you are only renting this space and your tenancy is up, rent overdue and I want you out one way or another.
This letter is your written warning!