We all know the stigma or the saying that men are not supposed to cry or that it’s a sign of weakness.
I have never been a crier in my life really, the only true emotions I have is happiness or anger and that pretty much sums it up.
So it’s no wonder I was diagnosed with Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder.
In the worst situations where I should have cried I have stood there dried eyed, emotionless but dying and hurting inside.
I guess it’s a case of if I’m seen crying I will be seen as weak, stupid or even an easy target.
As I get older I realise that its ok to let your emotions go once in a while and that in fact helps you balance as a person and balance your emotions out.
So what has made me cry the most, I d like to tell you it was tears of happiness like when my children were born or any other happy point in my life but the things that have made me cry most in my life have been my Mental Health.
The point of when you get to the bottom, the very bottom of where you see no return and you can’t hold it back anymore it come out and it comes out like a bombs gone off.
On the few break downs that I have had or where I lose control I have then never cried so hard in my life and I have to say I felt better once it was all out and then powered through with help.
Don’t get me wrong I do get the occasional man tear, the single tear that runs down the cheek that’s quickly rubbed away.
But the last year has shown that its ok to cry and still be seen as strong, I’ve watched people who never cry crumble in front of me in tears but even today they are the strongest people I know and their better people than me.
After a Mental Health session this week I cried out of nowhere and for the first time I didn’t feel stupid for it, it was how I felt and I felt better for it afterwards.
If your low and want to cry it out then do it!
Let it out, let it all go then pick yourself up and power on like we know you can do!
If I had showed emotion when I needed to could I have changed things?
Maybe but I won’t be holding in my emotions any longer, I just want to be normal.
Daddy Giraffe x