My Diagnosis Journey been a long time coming…
I’ve always known there was something not quite right because this isn’t how normal people act, you see them outside laughing, having fun, in love or just going about their normal lives and that is the word I was struggling NORMAL.
From a young age I was going from mood to mood at an alarming pace, happy, sad, angry, happy again and that isn’t in just one day that is within hours. Thoughts that you say to yourself inwards were not your normal typical thoughts about how things are or what am I going to do tonight, these were different these were thoughts of your not good enough or telling you that the person you just walked past said something about you I’m sure they did.
As time goes by like a lot of things in life you just learn to live with it and adapt and that is just what I did, Getting on with life, work and moving forward pretending that everything is fine and dandy. If you know me or talk to me I will usually say what or ask you to say it again not because I’m being rude but I’m struggling to pick out your voice amongst the many others.
Years go by and I meet this girl and she is amazing in every single way, so I started of seeing her and meeting her children and family trying to hide the crazy and be a normal person that society says you must be or you will be labelled and then spoke to slightly different and slower for some reason.
This girl as I said was amazing and spotted something wasn’t quite right but instead of running to the hills where her gut tells her to go she just stands still, solid and helps me with getting some kind of help and maybe even a diagnosis so I can at least learn what it is and deal with it to live a life like I thought everyone lived.
The help was arranged and through years and years of appointments, talking, test medication and yet more appointments they came to a conclusion and a diagnosis of what I am dealing with, the diagnosis was Personality Disorder.
Great finally a name for what it is…wait what is Personality Disorder??
Well it wasn’t quite the good news I was hoping for, Personality Disorder is a mixture of Depression, Bi-Polar and Schizophrenia amongst others. So lots and lots of medication was prescribed and I’m doing better unfortunately this isn’t something that is just going to go away tomorrow so here I am dealing with this on a daily basis and after years of battling this demon by myself alone I have decided to talk and share and help with others to say its alright to be like this, that there isn’t such a thing as a normal person and we are all unique and it’s alright to say I’m struggling.
Join me on my journey and together we can make Mental Health something that people are not ashamed to speak about.
** All images and quote pictures were taken from google.