Parent…how do you know you are one?

You find yourself doing things when you’re a parent that you would never do when you never had children so how do you know the signs.

I was thinking this the other day and thought I wonder how many thing do I do today that I won’t of done years ago.

Changing Bums – We have all been there, when a friend or relative has changed their child’s bum and the smell makes you gag. How can something so foul-smelling come out of this little angel child!! But when your a parent you don’t bat an eye lid, you just grab them baby wipes and go at it like a champion. Bit of poo on my hand, no problem it’s just poo and quick wipe and on with our day.

Talking on pretend phones – Now I don’t care who you are, you can be the biggest, hardest man in solitary confinement in prison for murder but if a child hands you a pretend phone you will answer it!! Anything can be a phone to them a brush, a car even their hand but you better answer it your life depends on it with a smile.

Carrying/wearing things your kids have given you – You’ve seen them parents when you were single and childless walking with their kids, but the parent is wearing the Paw Patrol bag instead of the kid…that’s me! That’s right except my bag is a giraffe that my son takes to school but never actually wears, It goes the same for holding pink umbrellas in the rain just so your child is dry while your standing there soaking up all that glorious rain.

Pretending to drink tea – NEVER EVER DO IT!! Once you drink that pretend tea you will get never ending cups of tea from a bottomless teapot. But you better pretend that every cup tasted as good as the last one.

Kids TV – In your young free life you had no need to see the children’s channels, but when you have children you are invited into a world filled with Peppa Pig, Paw Patrol, Ben & Holly and Fireman Sam. You see these same shows day in and day out all the time but as soon as your child goes to bed at night do you change the channel…no! Instead you sit on the sofa to rest watching or having it as background noise before reality kicks in that the channel is still on.

You sing the children’s song even when the kids are not even here – I have lost how many times I have found myself singing the Bing Bong Boo song when I have been on my own, I couldn’t even tell you who is in the top ten in the charts at the moment but if you want I can sing you the whole of Fireman Sam.

I would like to say this will be over soon for me and they will grow up but I still have a 1 year old so I would say I have got a good 8 years of children TV shows before they move on to the next stage.

We do all of these things because we are parents and we made the choices to take on this responsibility and I can’t be the only one to think how much I will miss it once its all over and they don’t need us anymore.

Daddy Giraffe x



Embarrasing moments your kids have put you in

We all know kids are completely random and embarrassing at times especially at home but they all have that magical moment inside them where they usually wait for a sensitive or serious situation to launch their attack that makes you want the ground to open up and swallow you whole.

One of my embarrassing moments happened to be not long ago in fact, I was walking Freddie home from nursery and a young lady held the door open for us, a very nice thing to do where my 3 year old stops looks at her and says “You’re a big lady arent you” then casual walks away leaving me in a situation where somehow I’m the asshole.

Embarrassing Moment
Embarrassing Moments

I have asked around for a few examples of these kind of things, I’m going to be honest I wanted to hear them to lighten up my day and hopefully your will to by reading this. Here are some of the best ones i have found…enjoy.

My eldest daughter once shouted “look at the size of her bum!” To a lady with a rather large backside

Pulling down my top in public because he wanted a feed so I accidentally flashed a few people

We are in a restaurant out for a family meal and my daughter goes to the toilet. She then comes back to the table screaming that she did a poo, like you mummy. Then gave a high-five to everyone

My son was preparing for his first holy Communion…we had prepared him for weeks as his favourite word to say at the time was F*ck… He has many special needs , we knew one day he would no longer be able to speak, so we didn’t correct him for this word ( he used it appropriately too😂) His communion rolled around and we bribed him and he seemed to understand that word was not allowed at mass ! The priest kept going on and on towards the end of mass. My son isn’t one for sitting still, he had done his 40 minutes and to be honest the priest was still going at 50 mins son stood up, I assumed he was going to walk around with his aid …he put his two hands together and roared “A fucking Men” …quickly I grabbed him while the rows in front of us , all bent their heads while their shoulders moved up and down… thankfully the priest was half deaf 😉

My daughter pointed to the lady standing next to us in a long, busy Queue & said (very loudly I might add) ‘Look Mummy, she is pregnant just like you!’ The lady then kindly said ‘No my dear, that’s just my tummy!’ I could have died with embarrassment

We went to a posh ice cream parlour and an older lady was peering over the glass counter to choose a flavour and my 19 month old walked up to her and slapped her on both bum cheeks. I was so shocked I couldn’t get any words out, but thank god she laughed.

Taking my four year old and my two year old around Tesco’s, I find myself in the toiletries aisle alongside a rather attractive man, so I’m trying to look all casual and stuff. Randomly, my four year old points to the Tampax boxes and shouts (yes, shouts!) “MUMMY LOOK! THERE’S THOSE THINGS YOU PUT UP YOUR BOTTOM!!” and looks *really* pleased with herself. I LITERALLY DIED

When my eldest was younger. I had him in his baby carrier, and he managed to kick down my jeans in the middle of a shop. I had shopping in my hand and him on the front, I was just stood there flashing my granny pants to everyone!

My (then) three year old sang “who ate all the pies” to a rather large man at the garage. I almost died.

While getting changed at the pool at Centre Parks a couple of years back my son took great delight in yelling out ‘mummy! You’ve got a penis!’ I did point out (very loudly) that no I actually don’t have a penis, thanks but predictably he wanted to make sure that everyone heard and argued it out. Looking forward to returning the favour one day

I have to say I loved reading every single one of these they really did make me laugh to the point where my children are suspicious at why I’m laughing.

For all those mummy’s and daddy’s that have been embarrassed by their children just remember that one day they will get the same in return, and the cycle goes on.

Thanks for reading

Daddy Giraffe x

Children’s Cartoon Characters That Baffle Me

We all have that one children’s cartoon that we secretly enjoy, mine happens to be The Amazing Adventures of Gumball.

Despite having your favourites you will find yourself watching many different cartoons and if your anything like me and how I think you would have thought something wasn’t quite right with some of the programs or Characters

So I have decided to list my Top Ten Kids TV characters that just don’t sit right with me and the reasons why…I hope you enjoy.

10. Tinky Winky – Now I know for sure that I’m not alone here when this character is brought up. Lets start with the name, I’m not sure I’m comfortable with my kids watching a giant fluffy thing called Tinky Winky, that’s the best name they could come up with? Knowing that it’s a children’s TV program. Not only is he giant and purple and carrying around a purse, now there nothing wrong with carrying a purse in fact I would buy my son a push chair if he wanted it but there is just something off with a character that all they can say is Tinky Winky.

9. Peppa Pig – My son loves Peppa Pig and watches it all the time, the problem I have is she is a spoilt little brat who talks to her parents like crap and gets away with it.  Also in the town where they live they are all animals that can talk from Pigs to Elephants but on their days out they visit the ducks on the pond?? Are these ducks not allowed to speak freely in this town but are reduced to bits of bread from Peppa and Daddy Pig, why don’t they talk it’s the same as Goldie the Fish, apparently if you’re a water based animal you don’t count sorry guys.

8. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle – As a kid I love TMNT I would watch it every Saturday morning without fail, it wasn’t until I was watching it with my little boy that I looked at them in their colourful bandannas and thought who are they disguising themselves for? I’m pretty sure they isn’t another 4 giant turtles wandering the city that they could be mistaken for.

7. Mr Tumble – I can’t turn on my TV without seeing this guy and all of his tumble family, now he has a very close family or he has a multiple personality’s.  Freddie has his books and a Tumble doll which you hear say “I’m Mr Tumble Honk” at 2 in the morning when he turns over. I’m also slightly suspicious that he is making up his own sign language but I don’t know enough to catch him out.

6. Cinderella – I was watching this with my 8 year old the other night, and I hadn’t even thought about it until I saw the film. Fairy Godmother says you must be back by the strike of 12 because everything will change back…BUT NOT HER SLIPPERS!! not only that but is there nobody in the whole kingdom that has the same shoe size as Cinderella?

5. Phineas & Ferb – Now I love this program I watch it just for Doofenshmirtz but the one thing I’m not sure about is why Phineas’s family are normal with normal sized heads so whys is his head a triangle?? What happened to this poor boy? How does he blow his nose without cutting himself?

4 .Winnie the Pooh – More like Willy the Pooh…put some damn trousers on Winnie!! You already put your t-shirt on then just got lazy.

3. Shimmer & Shine – If you don’t know this program its a bout a girl who has 2 genies in training and she happens to get 3 wishes a day. Sound good I hear you say, she could change the world i hear you say, stop hunger, stop war or even stop natural disasters. But she wishes for cake, more cake, flowers and every day basic shop brought items. Selfish!

2. Ryder – Paw patrol is big in our house and on most of the time….a lot of questions here so let me take a deep breath. Where’s this kids parents? Where does he get all this  money to buy all this tech? Why do only the Paw Patrol talk and no other animal? When he video calls them how do we see they faces..they don’t have phones or cameras? Why is there no emergency services in the place other than the Paw Patrol. ( I think I’m done)

1.Norman Price – This kids got to go, vote him out, have a petition and ship him off. Norman is the route cause for 90 percent of Pontypandy’s fires and emergencies. But despite  nearly ending the world, burning his town down to a crisp just a simple sorry Sam and all is forgiven until next time you have a bright idea Norman Bloody Price!!

I hope you liked this and if you have anymore you would like to add then please feel free to let me know

Daddy Giraffe x

*Kids TV Picture was from Google search*



Expectations vs Reality of parenting

As new or experienced parents, there is always your expectations of parenthood against the reality. I have has these myself and was sure others had so I asked other parents around me the same and the responses were spot on

When you have your first child or are preparing for them your expectations are high, parenthood should be a breeze, we will get all of the stuff and get a routine in early and it shall all run smoothly.

Oh No I’ve forgotten everything!! – We have been through it all after having our first child so when we were expecting our second we thought it would be easy. The second baby arrived and we soon realised we had forgotten everything.

Try, Try and Try Again – We had our first child and followed everything from the book to a tee. The second baby comes along and you decide you have learnt from the first time and you will do it your way. The third child arrives and you just get on with it, enjoying the fun and experiences that come with it.

Sleeping – Thinking that newborn babies slept and fed every 4 hours where in my case was every 3.5 hours and continually cried for 5 days straight where I only got 3 hours sleep.

Expectations vs Reality
Tired Mommy

Maternity Leave should be Bliss – You start thinking maternity will be packed with activities like tea and cake meet ups maybe sometimes hosted in you tidy house. Now you just congratulate yourself for getting out the house after you’ve climbed over the clothes and toys on the floor.

Stop growing– You cant wait to watch your kids grow up and see what kind of teen, adult they are going to turn out to be, what career they have, kids maybe even getting married someday. What actually happens is you spend the time wishing they would stop growing and thinking how nice it was when they were a baby. ( I love this one because that’s what I’m going through with my 1-year-old at the moment, I’m watching her try to walk and keep thinking I wish you were just a baby again)

The second baby will be just like the first – Oh if that was true in our case we have 5 children and their all very good, well-behaved, polite and then there’s our 3-year-old tornado who is in a complete league of his own, with a combination of fearlessness and 5 minute bursts of spoilt tantrums he’s more than a handful.

Despite the exceptions or reality I wouldn’t change a thing about how our children are, whether they wake up at 2am or am, sleeps and eats perfect or just takes it when they want it, it’s all worth it in the end because there a part of me and mummy.

*Image from Google*




What they never told you would happen when you became a dad

Becoming a dad is the most amazing thing to happen to me in my life but I wish someone would have told me what certain things would happen.

Now I was told all about the important stuff like changing bums, feeding, dressing the baby and that’s all good but when it comes to the practical test well that’s a whole new ball game.

Lets start from birth to a few years old shall we…

You feed your baby and you watch them drink their milk, it’s all cute their sleepy, warm and full but now its time to burp the baby, so you still them up and tap their back not to hard not to soft just keep tapping…and your tapping…and your tapping but no sign of wind. You bend down to talk to your baby or maybe even to kiss them and BURP! right in your face the smell of warm sour milk lingers as you won the battle but somehow lost the war.

Burping Baby

The nappy change is next and 2 things I should have been warned properly about and the first one is why didn’t anyone say the babies poo changes colour green, yellow and very strong-smelling. The other is if it’s a boy and you open the nappy then you better have the speed of The Flash or you’re in the splash zone! Countless times I have been weed on trying to catch it in the nappy before its to late but it’s always to late.

Dressing a girl is a big one for me, I am 33 and still don’t know the difference between tights and leggings. You ever tried putting tights on a wriggly one year old its like a challenge out of the Krypton Factor (I loved that program) and making them look pretty with an outfit that goes together…my little boy is easy jeans, t-shirt and socks and he’s done but little girls need a personal shopper these days.

Toddlers have only one aim and that’s to drop you to your knees with one swift punch, headbutt or kick. Yes they have a way of always managing to hit you in the right spot without even thinking about it. The first time I ever heard my beautiful baby girl laugh was while I was changing her nappy I reached for the baby wipes and BOOM she drops her feet into my nuts makes me yelp and while I’m trying to recover shes giggling away it was a bitter-sweet moment.

No means yes and yes means no but no can also mean no but not yes.

The best things you will ever her in your life I guarantee you will come from your children for example my little boy didn’t want the milk he asked me for because there was a shark in it or he can’t eat his dinner because its far too stinky.

They will do and say things that will make you want the ground to swallow you up whole for instance we was walking out of nursery yesterday and Freddie walked past a nice lady stopped and said “You’re a big lady aren’t you” I couldn’t apologise more or when your one year old keeps biting the dentist and wont let go of his finger.

With all of this you just need to take it in an learn from it because there is no right or wrong way to do parenting sometimes you just have to wing it and hope it all works out fine.




Getting your child to sleep tips

Getting your child to start sleeping from an early age without hassle is one of the most stressful and draining tasks of being a parent.

Every parent uses different methods that work for them to get their child to sleep through the night whether it is staying up later, taking away afternoon naps or no sugar after a certain time in the day.

From experience my 3-year-old wakes up through the night thinking its time to wake up and have breakfast, so I asked how other people handle their child’s bedtime routines to see which is the most popular and maybe another way to approach setting them up for a good nights sleep.

A good bedtime structure – This is where your child has a set routine before bed so that they are aware of what time it is and that they need to mentally prepare themselves to go to sleep, This can involve brushing teeth, a drink, a wash to climbing into bed for a story or a chat of their day. Thank you Katy Kicker and mehimthedogandbaby.

A good night-light – Now this one rings home with me as we have just put a dim colour changing light in his bedroom and before he goes to sleep he picks his own colour and then goes to bed, this seem to be working and a few people seem to be a having the same sort of success. Thank you

Something Soothing – I like this one and haven’t considered it before, I also have a one year old who sometimes has broken sleep, this person suggested giving them something of yours that smells of you for them to snuggle into and fall asleep. I think It’s a great idea. Thank you evenangelsfall

The Wind Down – This is popular one which I may try myself. Before the go to bed give them 30 minutes of not TV, no Technology, no running around but just relaxing time of reading a story or doing some drawing or writing just so that the can wind down for bedtime. Thank you

Let them decide when their tired – A few people have said they let their child take the lead and to let them know when they are tired instead of battling them to sleep when there just not ready to go, we have all put out children to bed and they are just having a day where they are just not sleepy and will fight you for hours until they crash. Thank you

Story time – I love story time and try to read to my 3-year-old if I can but he just isn’t the kind of child to sit there for that long and read a long book because he loses interest quickly and will start to make his own stuff up (must just be my reading) Thank you

Don’t get stressed– This is one I certainly have failed at in the past, your tired it your kids bedtime and instead of sleeping they are running around the bedroom, shouting, screaming and crying, Your stressed and get annoyed at the child because its bedtime. Try to remain calm and speak in a passive tone explaining its bedtime and just breath, they wont stay awake forever and will crash out at some point.

I have loved doing this and finding out some new tricks for myself to try to get my babies to sleep quickly and hope fully throughout the night so they are refreshed and happy when they wake up.

If you still have trouble getting your child to sleep then take a look at this website that I found it has lots of useful tips and guides that may help you.

Thank you for all that participated in giving me ideas for getting my children to sleep I hope you get the same results

Daddy Giraffe x







Teaching our children the basics in life, is there a right or wrong way?

Hand Holding
Freddie & Bethie Holding Hands

We were all taught the basics in life and now I find myself teaching my own children and it’s not as easy as I thought it might be and am I even handling it right.

I never wanted children growing up, Even in my 20’s I never wanted to have children until I met Cheryl and her 3 amazingly well-behaved kids, they were so polite, well-behaved and so clever at the ages from 2 upwards. The problem was when I got there all of the hard work was done and I didn’t have to do anything other than look after them and lead them on the right path throughout their life and all its challenges.

Three eldest
The Big Kiddies

We decided to have a baby I finally felt I was ready and we agreed this was a great idea and we decided to try, 9 months later Freddie Robert Hopkins arrives into the world, so small and perfect, how can it be so hard to bring up a baby honestly because people do it all the time so surely I can to it with no problems…oh how wrong I could be.


He was home all clean, smelling of baby and was no trouble at all until it came to me doing things to look after the baby for the first time and it wasn’t anything like I had seen or imagined.

Freddie Baby
Freddie & Daddy

Bathing the Baby: You fill this tiny little bath with warm water so it doesn’t burn the baby but how do you decide if its to hot or to cold when I have my bath I like it the temperature of the sun. So with the help from my partner I got the water temp right, now to lower the baby into the water, holding its head, give him a quick wash and done ready for bed. I didn’t count on the fact he would HATE the water and it would be like you were in a water park, I swear the only thing that wasn’t wet was the actual baby! I soaked the floor, kids, me, the sofa, the curtains and some how yes even the ceiling.

Changing the baby: This was something I was not ready or prepared for that’s for sure, I didn’t know it changed colours like a smelly chameleon . The second I took off Freddie’s nappy he did a wee all over me, I tried to catch most of it in the nappy but failed miserably. I remember taking his nappy off and he was covered in poo, all up his back, legs and everywhere and as I struggled to undress him and change him I thought “I got this” until I realised that somehow it was on the back of his head??? I would like to say it gets better as they grow older but trying to pin then down long enough to change them is just as hard.

Sleeping: You will NEVER sleep again! You like your lie in’s…wait…you liked your lie in’s. Singing them to sleep or midnight feeds, nappy changes, nightmares and illness…there nothing quite like baby/toddler sick to brighten your day. But even though you are tired and can barely keep those tired eyes open, you have to because the Tellietubbies are about to dance on TV so you can watch you baby dance along like a solo 5am rave.

Walking: Watching them get up and move by themselves to you or from furniture to get to a toy of theirs is amazing to watch as they have done this all on their own, when they were ready to. I was convinced Freddie could walk and I was right as I happened to check on him in the night and he was walking along his bed without a care in the world.

Talking: I have enjoyed listening to Bethie learning to talk and it helps when she does sound like a baby still, it melts my heart when she calls for daddy as soon as she opens her eyes for me to go and take her downstairs. With this also has its down side and this is as they get older the repeat everything they hear from conversations or TV or even from nursery, not long ago Freddie couldn’t have a biscuit so in a temper tantrum he called me a Bum Ass!! Out of nowhere and I think it even shocked him a little bit. I told him off and had to go have a giggle in a different room with Cheryl.

Toilet Training: This one I thought was going to be the hardest thing to do in the world but he took to it like a duck to water, I explained to him he wasn’t a baby and babies don’t wear nappies. He agreed and with only a few accidents he has mastered it within a few weeks to the point where he stands up to wee.

Baby Freddie's Bathtime
Freddie’s First Bath

With all of the constant tiredness and tidying up and running around after them I wouldn’t change it for the world. I may not have the right ways in teaching them or not doing right in the first instance but I will remember every single moment of teaching these little humans the way of life and hope in the long run I did something right and they turn out decent, happy teenagers/adults.

*If you are a first time parent and your thinking would like to see if your on the right track then this link may help you*