Single Parenting the truth

You hear a lot of it now days at thats single parents, now this could be a single parent acting alone bringing up their children alone or two separate parents raising there children the best they can from two separate locations.

I didn’t see myself being a single parent, although I do not live with my children I see them nearly everyday and make sure that they have everything that it needed.

Although the children have the best of both worlds and the love of both parents it isn’t always the case and a lot of people dont actually know what its like being a single parent.

I asked 2 single parents there thoughts on what it is like and asked the pros and cons and the responses was interesting…

“Being a single parent is difficult , especially when it’s something that you didn’t choose yourself and all you wanted was for your children to be a part of a loving family. When you are forced to be a single parent it can be very difficult to adjust with the constant questions from the children asking why their daddy isn’t there and even in my case completely blaming me for the situation, even giving nasty comments and not knowing how to make it better for them. One of the toughest things is once the children are in bed and you’re sat on your own without anyone to share your day with. If you’re poorly you have no choice but to drag yourself out of bed to get up with the little ones and there’s no time to rest and nobody around to help to make you feel better. Parenting can be tough sometimes and some days you just need someone to put their arms round you and tell you that you’re doing ok because you constantly question if you’re even a good parent and if being by yourself is enough for them. Whilst it’s a difficult thing to go through and adjust to I would walk to the ends of the earth to make sure my children are happy”

The second person…

“Tbh it is easier but very difficult positive I have no one to argue with of how I bring up my kids, my kids are happier we can do what we want kids are getting my full attention so they are happier negative I have to do all night shift and day shift I’m tired kids are missing there dad I’m the only one to deal with tantrums it’s not like I can pass them onto anyone”

I think you have to do the best in the worst situation you didn’t see yourself in, in my case your parental instincts kick in and you adapt to the situation to try and keep some normality in the their lives.

To all you single parents out there who are struggling on your own with your children and feel like your not doing so well, you are doing a great job keep doing what your doing and it will get easier.

Make memorys because believe me when your children are older they will remember who was there for them and the best times in their lives.

Daddy Giraffe x 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Coming to terms

What a year this has been already but I’m finally at a point I think where I’m coming to terms with how things are and how I will move on and make the changes needed.

If you follow me at all you will see that this year has been a rough one for not only me but my family as me and Cheryl decided to part ways, this to say wasn’t easy as I wanted other things and Cheryl was heartbroken.

But I’m a believer in time is a healer and through a lot of rough patches we both are starting to see some light at the end of the tunnel and are both coming to terms with what has happened.

Moving out

The first thing that was done was moving out of the family home and back into the house with my parents.

Now this wouldn’t be so bad as its 5 minutes from where my kiddies are and I could help around the house here as my dad is adapting to losing his sight so I can do the odd jobs that need doing around the house.

I’m currently looking for a place of my own so I can have the kids a couple of nights a week and take the burden off Cheryl a bit giving her a bit of spare time.

Relationship with Cheryl

Mummyof5miracles
Mummyof5miracles

At first like most break ups there was a lot of arguing and days where we couldn’t be in the same room let alone the same house.

But despite how we didn’t see eye to eye we always put the kids first and that was the main goal to make it as normal as possible.

If you know Cheryl then you will know that she is an amazing person, kind, generous, very honest and a fantastic mother.

Always putting the needs of her children before her own happiness is something I admire always and I will forever be grateful she brought my children into this world.

We have both grown through this experience and have turned corners, we can actually sit and have adult conversations and even a laugh.

Seeing the children

Family
Family

I tried to make this as easy for the children as I possibly could and tried to get some normality back into lives which is easier said than done.

Educationally they are all thriving, winning awards and smashing everything in front of them which we couldn’t be prouder of.

Personally wise they are all happy, it was a change at first but I see them every day and always am in there lives, birthdays are coming thick and fast, we have just had Freddie’s and now we have Annabelle’s in a few days then Elizabeth Ann at the end of the month.

The kiddies have always been my number one priority and always will be, I cant wait to see how they all progress and grow in the years to come where they find they their own paths to take in life.

Whats the way forward from now?

Time to focus on me now I think, first thing is first im feeling a bit more confident now so I may try going back to work with the all clear.

Finding a new place is second, some space for myself and my children to relax would be nice.

Me time, just focusing on me, my health and getting better and in the right frame of mind to battle the world again, I watched Cheryl at her lowest  point and she dragged herself up through everything and decide enough was enough and that she was  worth more and she would make that change.

That is inspiration right there if not anything else!

Daddy Giraffe x