Mental Heath with Marti

After taking a break from mental health post for a while but no I am back with a brave guest post with Marti who has let us have an insight into life with Mental Health.

Here’s Mental Health with Marti….

Can you tell us a little about yourself?

I’m Marti, I’m non-binary meaning I’m not really male or female. I’m 29 years old. I work for an IT consultancy company in Lincolnshire and in my spare time I play guitar, take and pose in photos and occasionally write.

What got you into blogging? 

There are two main things that got me into blogging, being non-binary and my physical health. Firstly, being non-binary is a difficult thing for people to understand, if you fit into the binary norms you have no need to think about those who do not, so I started writing about it to try to raise awareness. Secondly my physical health, I was born with cataracts, which left me partially sighted, and in 2015 I had two brain abscesses, which resulted in me needing emergency surgery. One morning I was trying to play guitar and kept dropping the plectrum, within hours I was barely able to hold anything or remain conscious and ended up in surgery the same night. It took a lot of therapy before I was able to use my right hand properly again and several months before my guitar ability was back to its previous level. Took look at me now you wouldn’t know I’d had these health problems but they are there as invisible illnesses, so the second reason is to raise awareness of invisible illnesses

When did your journey with Mental Health begin and did you get diagnosed? 

I first started to notice problems with my mental health in secondary school. That’s when I really noticed that I was quite different to other people and that I had to pretend a lot to fit in. It wasn’t until I was much older maybe early 20’s that I was diagnosed with mental health problems but the mental health provisions in my area are poor and in all honesty I’m not great at engaging with services.

How does this effect your day-to-day routine?

In recent years I have gotten my depression fairly under control, so day-to-day routine activities aren’t too much of an issue. I tend to find I have problems with things that aren’t routine like going out somewhere, as it’s so much easier to stay at home where its safe. My problem tends to be more anxiety, anything different to normal can trigger it then I want to get away or avoid that thing.

What do you do to distract yourself from hard times or to relax?

My main distraction is music I’ll either pick up my guitar or I’ll put some music on and sing along. I first took up guitar at the age of 14 at this time I was self harming and not in a good place and guitar was the perfect distraction, with it being so complex and taking so long to master its kept me going for years but if I’m really bad I get annoyed with my playing ability. In that situation I put music on and sing along, there are studies that suggest singing releases endorphins and helps to lift mood and in my experience it works.

If your friends could describe you in one word what would it be?

 I asked my partner and she said “selfless”

What are your future goals?

 My current goals are to get to a point where I am able to work full-time, I am still suffering ill effects from my brain surgery in 2015 and not yet back to full health but hopefully one day I will be. A second goal is to become more comfortable being myself, I’ve on recently gone public with my non-binary nature and with my anxiety I still struggle but I’m improving everyday.

What piece of advice could you give someone with Mental Health? 

It’s very hard to give general advice as mental health is such a wide-ranging a varying area but I would say that you need to remember that it’s not your fault you have issues with mental health, it’s an illness like any other and there no need to feel ashamed for having it.

Are you part of any groups that help?

I’m starting on a well-being course tomorrow run by the local mental health services to try to help with my anxiety but I am not a member of any groups.    

Finally can you please tell me something you like about yourself.

I like my mind, it’s a little bent out shape between my mental health issues and my brain injury but on the whole it works well, I managed to complete a degree the same year I nearly died from the brain abscesses. I learn new skills quickly, problem solve well and like to think I have interesting thoughts.

Thank you very much for opening up and sharing with us Marti it was very brave and I enjoyed getting to know you a bit more

If you like to follow Marti and her journey through life you can do by following these links below.

https://martiborman.wordpress.com/

https://www.facebook.com/Marti.borman/

https://www.instagram.com/marti.borman/

Daddy Giraffe x

 

Questioning who I am

With all the events of the past few weeks even months ive been questioning things trying to find out who I am. 

Am I a bad person?

I like anyone else has made mistakes in their lives but to what degree to you stop and thing am I a bad person?

Relationships I have been in have broken down with me offering very little in emotional support because I have just been unable too although I do try my best.

It must be hard to deal with someone so has a problem being emotional unstable and switching form mood to mood.

If I cant love myself than how can I love someone else and that has been the problem, I come across selfish & uncaring.

Am I a good daddy?

The one thing in my life I try to be is a good daddy, I do everything I can to make sure they know daddy is there and that they know I love them very much.

They are happy, polite and never go without.

But what kind of example am I settling to my children when they can see me bouncing from mood to mood.

Will they think that this is the normal way to be and start to treat others this way, I dont want that, its not the life I want for any of my children.

I want them to grow up respecting people, partners, friends and people in general while leading a normal life.

 My Bad Choices and Decisions 

Because of my personality I make decisions on the spot and to be honest it never always turns out the way I want it. 

Example: I was once at a restaurant and it was time or desert it got to me and I ordered Lemon Meringue it wasn’t until it got to the table that I remembered I hate Meringue! 

I have no filter so when I argue things are said that an never be taken away and feelings are hurt no matter how it was meant to come out or not it still has happened and people get hurt.

Sometimes im not in the right frame of mine and in my own world and I wont even know your there so you feel invisible, again its not on purpose but it happens.

What happens now?

Number 1 is I take my medication with no excuses on why I missed it, instead take it regularly and on time.

Try to show more love to my children, I give all my love as it is but I want them to know daddy isn’t bad and this is not the way to be when you grow up.

Be a better person, talk to people, take their feelings into consideration even starting on something simple like listening.

I try to be a good person but sometimes it hard, so how do I find me?

Focus on the here and now, focus on the positive and in time hopefully you see a new me. 

What this space!!

Daddy Giraffe x 

 

 

 

 

 

Admirals Men’s skin care review

As the years go on we find that more men are using care products such as moisturizer and creams to look after their skin and put back the years of ageing.

With this comes the hard choice of which brand is the best to use?

I had the opportunity to test out some men’s care products from Admiral, as I waited for the package to arrive I did a little research of who is Admiral?

“Admiral is the original British sports brand with over 100 years of sporting heritage. The brand’s roots are in football and is rightly credited with kicking off the popular replica kit market in the early 1970’s.”

I received the package through the post and was excited in testing out all off the goodies that was contained within.

Antioxidant Moisture Balm with Artichoke Extract

Moisture Balm
Moisture Balm

Firstly the smell of this is very clean and fresh.

To be used twice a day, now ive never used anything like this before so I didn’t hold much hope but this stuff is amazing!!

My skin feels softer a lot less harsh and within just days you can tell the difference in your skin and the way you feel.

Detoxifying Face Scrub with Cucumber Extract

Face Scrub
Face Scrub

I’ve never used a face scrub before so this was an experience for me.

It smelt fresh and lathers up well with little effort.

It is like washing your face with little beads in soap, but when I had washed my face I could instantly tell the difference.

My face felt cool, clean, fresh it was like having a brand new face. 

This is a product I shall be consistently be using as the effects you can feel on your face are almost immediate.

Shampoo and Conditioner with Avocado Extract

Shampoo
Shampoo & Conditioner

This smelt amazing, im not big on Avocado myself but this smelt really good.

It lathered up well and left my hair looking really shiny and smelling nice, I wasn’t expecting much from this to be honest but I was pleasantly surprised and will continue to use this product more often.

Body Wash with Black Quinoa 

Body Wash
Body Wash

I loved this!

Everything about it, from the smell of it to how it didn’t make my skin dry or irritated afterwards.

The best thing I found about this product was the smell is long-lasting hours after you use it. 

I’m funny when it comes to body washes and soaps but this is rank in one of my top 3.

I recommend this to anyone who suffered dried skin after they use soaps or certain body washes its ideal and again smells amazing!

Hair Wax with Basil Extract  

Hair Wax
Hair Wax

I dont tend to use hair wax as I dont like the feel of it but luckily enough for me I have a teenager who does.

I gave him the wax to try and he loves it!

It smells great and holds well without leaving any clumps or mess.

He uses it daily and it washes out well afterwards , he scored it 8 out 10 so im impressed at that.

Summary 

I enjoyed using these Admiral’s products and I was left very impressed indeed not only by the quality of the packaging and the look of the products but at the quality of the product itself.

You can certainly tell they have but all those years to good use!

If you would like to try some of Admiral’s products yourself you can by going onto their website https://admiralgrooming.co.uk

If you use the code GIRAFF25 they will give you 25% off your first order 

Daddy Giraffe x

*This is not an AD but a review on care products*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Time to get back into the real world again

Time to come back and start again…

I haven’t been around for a while on here my blog or even on my Facebook Daddy Giraffe Page and what it was the reason? 

The day had come I dreaded and that was the day I was sectioned!
A lot of things have been happening that changes a person’s life, a break up of a relationship, being told you have no options if you suffer with such a Mental Health issues and getting used to adapting in change with seeing the children.
Breaking Point
For days my thoughts plagued me about how much of a failure I was as a farther, a partner, a man and a human being.
When you have these thoughts there is no time or space for other thoughts because your mind just dominates with negative feeling and thoughts, not only that but just to add insult to injury the Schizophrenia part of me has now come into please to reassure me about how much the world would be better and happier without me  
I stopped taking my meds as I couldn’t trust myself and would sleep all the time, if I had the chance I would sleep 24/7.
I started to drift from reality and couldn’t take it anymore.
Before I had realised, I found myself in a field alone and I knew I had to get help or this is it for me and maybe somebody else.
I called the crisis team and told them I need help or I will be dead by the end of the day and the way im felling I could take the world with me, they arranged  to see me straight away at my parents.
I called Cheryl as she was the first person I thought of and she somehow found me taking me back to were the Crisis Team came, assessed me and left.
The decision was to section me for a short while so as I waited I went to sleep waking u to a phone call of I’m going to Stafford.
St Georges Hospital Brockton Ward
 
I arrive at the hospital thanks to Cheryl and they are waiting for me, im anxious and very agitated.
They show me around the small ward and which consisted of sofas, chairs, a TV that was encased in a huge wooden case screwed to the wall yet a pool table??
Whats with the TV
Whats with the TV?
They had a kitchen where we could make drinks with fruit available if needed.
 
My room is what I expected, the windows were caged, everything was made out of wood and set into the floor the shower was a wet room and the toilet didn’t have a seat but again there was no way it was coming out of the ground.
They took my razors and shaving foam, headphones, phone charger and the carrier bag my clothes were brought in off me and locked them away.
I was under observation every 15 minutes and I had to keep my bathroom light on so they could see me.
Time goes so long when you sat in a room by yourself with nothing to do, luckily they left me my phone to contact the outside world but whats the point when nobody knows where you are?
Time in my room
Room
Examination time comes along and im taken into the clinical room where I refuse to be touched by anyone, 2 nurses and a doctor try to calm the situation down but it’s decided that im better off leaving to go back to my room and within minutes a group of nurses are at my door to try to bargain with me but leave empty-handed.
The first night was spend awake listening to footsteps walk towards my room as they peek through the door then walk away.
After broken sleep im much more relaxed and agree to have my blood taken and a check up with little resistance and just waited until visiting time trying to avoid talking to anyone around me.
Visiting time comes and its Cheryl and mom who took the hour journey there and back to see me and check everything was ok, a shock to the system I bet to see someone so close to you in a Mental Hospital.
For days I kept myself to myself not talking to anyone because in this state I don’t mix well with others but they somehow managed to get me to partake in a quiz with a different ward.
Sounds calming right?  Good Fun?
Except half way through arguments break out between two groups and me an another patient, luckily Cheryl was there to pull me back in line quick or I would have been in there a lot longer.
The days pass and the better I feel until a meeting was arranged with the doctors, me and Cheryl to talk about letting me back into the real world under the Mental Heath Team with weekly reviews.
Thank you
The worlds biggest thank you to Cheryl for helping me through such a dark and scary time, guiding me towards help, driving countless hours to see me, being at the end of the phone day or night to tell me it was all going to be ok.
Thank you isn’t big enough, the pain, sadness and fright this woman has gone through cannot be repaid but I will do my very best to make amends and build bridges where they have fallen.
They say time is a healer and I hope the saying it true so I can heal open wounds.
But from the bottom of my heart your support meant the world to me!
What happens now?
Well I try to get better!
I’m out which is a start, medicated and slowly but surly finding my feet in this world again.
Somehow learning to be a normal human with real emotions and everything, well we will start with saying hi to people first.
Trying to build bridges and most importantly be the best daddy I can be!
The healing starts now
Daddy Giraffe x