You hear a lot of it now days at thats single parents, now this could be a single parent acting alone bringing up their children alone or two separate parents raising there children the best… More
Having 5 kids age ranging from 1 – 14 there is always a book to read, especially the little ones before bed so I was thrilled to review a children’s book called Real giraffes wear high heel shoes.
As I am known as Daddygiraffe and they are my little giraffes this book sounded ideal so just before Freddie’s bedtime this was the story of choice.
Firstly when we start the book and see a picture of a Sami the giraffe wearing high heels Freddie thought it was hilarious and said he’s to tall to be wearing them.
Sami is a giraffe who loves to wear high heels but tries to join in with the other group of giraffes but something always goes wrong for poor Sami.
despite the problems Sami loves his heals, love the way they look and the way that they feel and goes about his day.
True to himself Sami keeps trying to join in with the other giraffes even inviting them to him birthday party which he didn’t think anyone would go to but Freddie was positive that Sami could do it and would get friends in the end.
It’s hard to keep a very energetic 4-year-old in one place and to get their attention for long enough but this seamed to do the trick.
The book from start to finish is full of brightly colourful illustrations with lots going on to grab his attention.
The story is easy enough to follow and understand also sending a message that its ok to be who you want to be and who you are, that you don’t have to change to please other people.
So after reading the book what does Freddie think, an imaginative 4-year-old.
Freddie loved the idea of animals in high heels and enjoyed the book throughout giving him a giggle along the way.
I asked him once the book was finished if he could rate the book out of 10 what would it be and he rated it…..
100 out of 10!
Where can I get this book?
If you would like to read this book for yourself to your children you can find it on the link below, I highly recommend it.
Daddy Giraffe x
After taking a break from mental health post for a while but no I am back with a brave guest post with Marti who has let us have an insight into life with Mental Health.
Here’s Mental Health with Marti….
Can you tell us a little about yourself?
I’m Marti, I’m non-binary meaning I’m not really male or female. I’m 29 years old. I work for an IT consultancy company in Lincolnshire and in my spare time I play guitar, take and pose in photos and occasionally write.
What got you into blogging?
There are two main things that got me into blogging, being non-binary and my physical health. Firstly, being non-binary is a difficult thing for people to understand, if you fit into the binary norms you have no need to think about those who do not, so I started writing about it to try to raise awareness. Secondly my physical health, I was born with cataracts, which left me partially sighted, and in 2015 I had two brain abscesses, which resulted in me needing emergency surgery. One morning I was trying to play guitar and kept dropping the plectrum, within hours I was barely able to hold anything or remain conscious and ended up in surgery the same night. It took a lot of therapy before I was able to use my right hand properly again and several months before my guitar ability was back to its previous level. Took look at me now you wouldn’t know I’d had these health problems but they are there as invisible illnesses, so the second reason is to raise awareness of invisible illnesses
When did your journey with Mental Health begin and did you get diagnosed?
I first started to notice problems with my mental health in secondary school. That’s when I really noticed that I was quite different to other people and that I had to pretend a lot to fit in. It wasn’t until I was much older maybe early 20’s that I was diagnosed with mental health problems but the mental health provisions in my area are poor and in all honesty I’m not great at engaging with services.
How does this effect your day-to-day routine?
In recent years I have gotten my depression fairly under control, so day-to-day routine activities aren’t too much of an issue. I tend to find I have problems with things that aren’t routine like going out somewhere, as it’s so much easier to stay at home where its safe. My problem tends to be more anxiety, anything different to normal can trigger it then I want to get away or avoid that thing.
What do you do to distract yourself from hard times or to relax?
My main distraction is music I’ll either pick up my guitar or I’ll put some music on and sing along. I first took up guitar at the age of 14 at this time I was self harming and not in a good place and guitar was the perfect distraction, with it being so complex and taking so long to master its kept me going for years but if I’m really bad I get annoyed with my playing ability. In that situation I put music on and sing along, there are studies that suggest singing releases endorphins and helps to lift mood and in my experience it works.
If your friends could describe you in one word what would it be?
I asked my partner and she said “selfless”
What are your future goals?
My current goals are to get to a point where I am able to work full-time, I am still suffering ill effects from my brain surgery in 2015 and not yet back to full health but hopefully one day I will be. A second goal is to become more comfortable being myself, I’ve on recently gone public with my non-binary nature and with my anxiety I still struggle but I’m improving everyday.
What piece of advice could you give someone with Mental Health?
It’s very hard to give general advice as mental health is such a wide-ranging a varying area but I would say that you need to remember that it’s not your fault you have issues with mental health, it’s an illness like any other and there no need to feel ashamed for having it.
Are you part of any groups that help?
I’m starting on a well-being course tomorrow run by the local mental health services to try to help with my anxiety but I am not a member of any groups.
Finally can you please tell me something you like about yourself.
I like my mind, it’s a little bent out shape between my mental health issues and my brain injury but on the whole it works well, I managed to complete a degree the same year I nearly died from the brain abscesses. I learn new skills quickly, problem solve well and like to think I have interesting thoughts.
Thank you very much for opening up and sharing with us Marti it was very brave and I enjoyed getting to know you a bit more
If you like to follow Marti and her journey through life you can do by following these links below.
Daddy Giraffe x
With all the events of the past few weeks even months ive been questioning things trying to find out who I am.
Am I a bad person?
I like anyone else has made mistakes in their lives but to what degree to you stop and thing am I a bad person?
Relationships I have been in have broken down with me offering very little in emotional support because I have just been unable too although I do try my best.
It must be hard to deal with someone so has a problem being emotional unstable and switching form mood to mood.
If I cant love myself than how can I love someone else and that has been the problem, I come across selfish & uncaring.
Am I a good daddy?
The one thing in my life I try to be is a good daddy, I do everything I can to make sure they know daddy is there and that they know I love them very much.
They are happy, polite and never go without.
But what kind of example am I settling to my children when they can see me bouncing from mood to mood.
Will they think that this is the normal way to be and start to treat others this way, I dont want that, its not the life I want for any of my children.
I want them to grow up respecting people, partners, friends and people in general while leading a normal life.
My Bad Choices and Decisions
Because of my personality I make decisions on the spot and to be honest it never always turns out the way I want it.
Example: I was once at a restaurant and it was time or desert it got to me and I ordered Lemon Meringue it wasn’t until it got to the table that I remembered I hate Meringue!
I have no filter so when I argue things are said that an never be taken away and feelings are hurt no matter how it was meant to come out or not it still has happened and people get hurt.
Sometimes im not in the right frame of mine and in my own world and I wont even know your there so you feel invisible, again its not on purpose but it happens.
What happens now?
Number 1 is I take my medication with no excuses on why I missed it, instead take it regularly and on time.
Try to show more love to my children, I give all my love as it is but I want them to know daddy isn’t bad and this is not the way to be when you grow up.
Be a better person, talk to people, take their feelings into consideration even starting on something simple like listening.
I try to be a good person but sometimes it hard, so how do I find me?
Focus on the here and now, focus on the positive and in time hopefully you see a new me.
What this space!!
Daddy Giraffe x
As the years go on we find that more men are using care products such as moisturizer and creams to look after their skin and put back the years of ageing.
With this comes the hard choice of which brand is the best to use?
I had the opportunity to test out some men’s care products from Admiral, as I waited for the package to arrive I did a little research of who is Admiral?
“Admiral is the original British sports brand with over 100 years of sporting heritage. The brand’s roots are in football and is rightly credited with kicking off the popular replica kit market in the early 1970’s.”
I received the package through the post and was excited in testing out all off the goodies that was contained within.
Antioxidant Moisture Balm with Artichoke Extract
Firstly the smell of this is very clean and fresh.
To be used twice a day, now ive never used anything like this before so I didn’t hold much hope but this stuff is amazing!!
My skin feels softer a lot less harsh and within just days you can tell the difference in your skin and the way you feel.
Detoxifying Face Scrub with Cucumber Extract
I’ve never used a face scrub before so this was an experience for me.
It smelt fresh and lathers up well with little effort.
It is like washing your face with little beads in soap, but when I had washed my face I could instantly tell the difference.
My face felt cool, clean, fresh it was like having a brand new face.
This is a product I shall be consistently be using as the effects you can feel on your face are almost immediate.
Shampoo and Conditioner with Avocado Extract
This smelt amazing, im not big on Avocado myself but this smelt really good.
It lathered up well and left my hair looking really shiny and smelling nice, I wasn’t expecting much from this to be honest but I was pleasantly surprised and will continue to use this product more often.
Body Wash with Black Quinoa
I loved this!
Everything about it, from the smell of it to how it didn’t make my skin dry or irritated afterwards.
The best thing I found about this product was the smell is long-lasting hours after you use it.
I’m funny when it comes to body washes and soaps but this is rank in one of my top 3.
I recommend this to anyone who suffered dried skin after they use soaps or certain body washes its ideal and again smells amazing!
Hair Wax with Basil Extract
I dont tend to use hair wax as I dont like the feel of it but luckily enough for me I have a teenager who does.
I gave him the wax to try and he loves it!
It smells great and holds well without leaving any clumps or mess.
He uses it daily and it washes out well afterwards , he scored it 8 out 10 so im impressed at that.
I enjoyed using these Admiral’s products and I was left very impressed indeed not only by the quality of the packaging and the look of the products but at the quality of the product itself.
You can certainly tell they have but all those years to good use!
If you would like to try some of Admiral’s products yourself you can by going onto their website https://admiralgrooming.co.uk
If you use the code GIRAFF25 they will give you 25% off your first order
Daddy Giraffe x
*This is not an AD but a review on care products*
I haven’t been around for a while on here my blog or even on my Facebook Daddy Giraffe Page and what it was the reason?
Ask a daddy.
Woman go through pregnancy and labour to bring the baby into the world and sometimes choose to do the feeding to, they can share their experiences with other moms who will understand there journey and pain.
Men are in general in the dark a little on this subject so I have decided to go out on a limb and offer any moms a question to ask a daddy.
No questions off limits, just ask a question and I will explain it from a daddies point of view and based on my own experiences.
I had some wonderful responses from mummy’s from all over and i would like to share them with you all.
What did it feel like the first time you held your baby?
Love like ive never felt before, I remember holding my first born and looking at him thinking im going to love you for as long as I live and just look after you.
Both babies were so small and at the same time it was like oh my god im responsible for looking after this tiny human, how will I cope but I had a strong woman beside me who guided me through it all. https://mygirlsandmesite.com
Whats your usual daily routine?
It starts with getting up with my 3 year old and of course hes always hungry, followed by the rest of his brothers and sisters.
My older children come home from school, its then craziness and loud until its finally its bedtime. https://www.ourseasidebaby.com
Do you help with the night time feeds?
Since it was my first baby I threw myself in there and after I was shown what to do and how to hold him and wind him, I insisted on doing all the night time feeds and sorting them when they cried in the night.
I used to sing Freddie with songs from The Beatles…I think he may of just been pretending to be sleeping so I would just stop.
I enjoyed it but sadly it took away bonding time between between mummy and Freddie which I feel guilty for but they now have a close bond. https://freddiesmummyuk.com
Do you feel that two weeks paternity leave is enough for dads to bond with baby, assist mum after birth and adjust to life as a family?
Yes in a way of it more than enough time to bond with the baby to get some quality daddy and baby time.
No in the way of mom doesn’t get the rest or help she deserves, what people dont understand and I didn’t is that yes women get maternity leave but straight after they have given birth they dont get much time to rest.
They have to do everything for the baby, themselves and do everyday tasks while in pain and extremely tired. https://www.boorooandtiggertoo.com
Do you think that men can TRULY understand how it feels to be pregnant and give birth? And does it make you feel sad or relieved that you’re excused from that aspect of parenthood – or both?!
Cheryl was pregnant in the summer and poor thing was uncomfortable ALL the time, she could sleep, she was too hot, I felt helpless because in them aspects there is nothing much that I could do.
Watching her give birth was amazing yes it was sad to see her in such pain but to watch how strong she was and that she did in on such little gas and air showed me not only how tough she was but what she was willing to go through to bring this baby into the world to be loved and I will always be thankful to her for that.
But no..I stubbed my toe once and was close to calling a priest for my final goodbyes, I couldn’t imagine what its like for woman. https://www.mummyslittlemonkey.com
What one thing would you like your partner to understand (you know those moments where you may butt heads) ?
That im not doing these things to make you mad, yes I gave her some crisps 20 mins after you said no but she looked at me all cut, what was I supposed to do? https://www.sineadlatham.com
What’s the best thing about being a Dad?
Watching them learn something for the first time and how proud they look.
Weather it walk, counting or writing their name you have bot experienced it for the first time together. https://www.lyliarose.com
What are your favourite activities to do with your kids?
We would usually go on walks, trips to the park and recently found out the younger two 3 and 1 love the water so we went swimming quite a lot.
Now the baby insists on walking everywhere we try to get out as often as we can. http://lifewiththebusbys.com
Do you think that the role as Dad is as important as the role of a Mum?
Yes I think it definitely should be.
I know moms carry the baby and deliver it but the dads helped create the life and care for the mom through the whole way.
They should both be respected as each other by their children.
Thank you for being a part of my post today ladies and I hope you all have some sort of an incite to a dads world. https://thismummyrocks.com
Daddy Giraffe x
On my journey to raise awareness for people to open up and talk about Mental Health so that this taboo subject is broken I have always said never have the feeling of guilt for suffering Mental health.
But today I broke my own rule.
I’ve said in a previous post that I am concerned about my young boy Freddie possibly having Autism.
He is showing some of the key signs for a while such as lack of concentration, memorising certain things and just repeating them over and over, also he wont look at you when you’re talking to him.
Freddie’s mom has had her suspicions for a long time but I was in denial and thought it was just Freddie being Freddie, but today was different.
After a long time of Cheryl asking for help to have him assessed which fell on deaf ears, I had seen it for myself as I tried to get him to tell me about his story of the week and he wouldn’t look at me while telling me or his nursery worker.
I decided enough was enough and spoke to his class key worker and expressed my concerns about Freddie and also to the SEN of the nursery who will give us the help we need from this point on.
Afterwards all i could think and do was to blame myself for this.
Was this my fault?
Did my own Mental Health do this or have some sort of effect on the poor boy?
I couldn’t help but feel responsible for this happening, even with reassurance from Cheryl that it’s 100% not my fault I still shed a tear and felt so bad.
I know deep down that there is nothing I could have done to cause this or prevent this if it turns out that it is in fact Autism.
All I know is I will love this little boy regardless of what happens he is my little superhero!
Daddy Giraffe x
I am a retired child minder from Maidenhead in Berkshire. I retired in September 2017.
I love to sew and as a child minder, I often made relevant resources for my minded children out of felt.
When the Early Years Foundation Framework became mandatory in March 2012 I wanted to make a toy suitable to cover all of its area of learning:
PSED, Physical Development and Communication and Language.
I had already made some little felt stars for a story sack for acting out the nursery rhyme Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.
I had the idea to stitch expressions on the stars depicting different moods and emotions (PSED) they could be held and played with (Physical Development) and make props for story sacks (Communication and Language)
I made these available to other child minders who then used them in their settings.
It was during my last inspection in 2015 that my Ofsted inspector urged me to develop the stars further as he saw a market for the stars not only for mainstream children but for children on the autism spectrum.
Once I retired, I had the time to develop the stars further by inventing a board onto which they could pop on and off.
The Stars became My Mood Stars and the board – My Mood Stars board.
The wonderful thing that has come out of developing My Mood Stars is learning about children on the autism spectrum and children with mental health issues. Children’s mental health is a growing concern as more and more children are diagnosed with ADHD, depression and anxiety.
It is through reading and connecting with people who have first-hand experience with these issues that I have been able to offer My Mood Stars as a resource as well as a toy.
Advertising My Mood Stars across different platforms has given me a lot of positive feedback. My Mood Stars are gaining a lot of attention from viewers on social media from The National Autistic Society to head teachers of primary schools.
I have been approached by several on line stores who wish to advertise My Mood Stars. My Mood Stars have appeared the family magazine Mummy & Me and will be featuring in PACEY the Professional Association for Childcare and Early Years and Autism Parenting Magazine next month. So it’s all very exciting!
I’m one for writing poems or reading poetry, I certainly don’t class this as any kind of mind-blowing work or something to make you think it just came to me and I wrote it down.
It’s based on a series of dreams I was having when I younger and a little more angry I guess.
Anyway I hope you enjoy it.
I watch the door open and you walk in towards me again
Out the bed I get, I’m ready for you this time!
I swing and miss, every shot I throw at you stops within inches of you
Breathing heavily, I stop and look at you
I’m looking into those dark, empty, cold and soulless holes
No blinking, just a smug look on your face as you know what is next
“I know why you’re here!”
Fists clenched so tight that the blood trickles through my fingers to the floor.
I scream and shout as I’m blinded by furry and pure rage
Shouting and swearing I can feel every hair on my body stand on end
Feel my blood boil to the point that my head might just explode
I HATE YOU!
I f**KING HATE YOU!
I’m on fire but it’s the coolest I’ve been
I’m full but constantly want to feed
I’m confused but aware what it is going on around me
I see you but can’t hear a single thing around me except for my own heartbeat
I break the barrier of fear
Breath like it’s the most natural thing to do in the world
Focus on whats in front of me and it sinks in
I’m looking at me!
You are me and I am you!
With a single blow I split your head in two
I close my eyes and darkness falls over me
Opening my eyes it was just a dream
Catching my breath I look at the time
It requires a lot of efforts from the parent’s end to transform their child into a responsible person. As a parent, you have to put consistent efforts to raise a happy and healthy child with high social and emotional intelligence. From the very day when your child is born and until they start taking their responsibilities on their own, you have to make sure that you do every possible thing that can enhance their overall development.
Parenting is a complex task and you have to get ready to give your 100% to it if you want to improve your child’s life. It’s very important for you to take necessary steps to foster the emotional intelligence of your child. Experts believe that a child with high emotional intelligence can achieve their goals easily because they are blessed with better attention skills which make it easier for them to learn new skills effortlessly.
In other words, if you want your child to perform exceptionally well in school or college, then it’s crucial that you start working towards their emotional development. On the other hand, children with low emotional intelligence struggle with issues like anxiety and depression, and also face a lot of relationship problems. In layman’s terms, a child with poor emotional intelligence struggles a lot in their life because they find it utterly difficult to handle different kinds of situations.
So, if your child is also struggling with emotional issues, here is how you can encourage their social and emotional development.
Communicate With Your Child
It’s very important for parents to communicate with their child frequently to understand them in a better way. If you are unable to understand your child, you will never be able to help them. So, you need to discover ways of enhancing your communication with them. For example, you should try to enjoy your food with them regularly so that you can find an opportunity to talk to them during meal time. In addition to that, if you love going for morning walks ask your child to accompany you.
Working parents find it difficult to take out time to talk to their kids, so they can make the most of out of mealtime and morning walks to spend some quality time with them. In addition to that, they can also spend time with their children before they go to bed. In short, try to talk to your child as much as you can to understand their feelings and problems.
Never Hurt Their Feeling & Emotions
If in case your child is experiencing an emotional problem, then you should put efforts to understand it properly. Ask them what is it that is creating a problem for them. For example, if you have a teenage child, try to figure out how is their relationship with their friends. If in case, your son/daughter says that they had a terrible fight with one of their friends in school, then it’s important for you to react appropriately. Yes, rather than scolding them, you should try to ask the reason behind the fight. And even if it was your child’s fault, you shouldn’t start shouting at them. Rather than behaving rudely with them, you should try to teach them how to behave responsibly in a social setting.
However, if your child is dealing with an emotional problem like anxiety or depression and you are unable to help them, then it’s crucial to take professional help. You might be observing that sometimes your child starts behaving either very rudely or in a weird manner. However, it’s very important for you to understand that such behaviours are quite common among children suffering from emotional issues and they don’t do anything intentionally. Even experts at CHARTER Harley Street believe that you are not at all accountable for how you feel, but you can easily control your subsequent behaviour.
Improve Your Emotional Bond With Them
Having a strong emotional bond with your child can bring a lot of happiness in your entire family. Children who are emotionally attached to their parents share all the important things with them, which make it easier for parents to guide them properly. However, if you do not know anything about your child’s life, you won’t be able to provide them with that much-needed guidance. So, if you want to strengthen your emotional bond with your child make sure that you start expressing your love and affection to them. You have to make them feel that you really care about their feelings so that they can start sharing them with you. Well, it’s quite true that you love your son or daughter like anything, but it’s equally important to show it to them.
So, once your child starts relying on your for their emotional needs, you can really bring a big difference in their life by giving them right advice for their problems.
Improve Your Child’s Self Awareness Skills
You should always try to encourage your child to improve their self-awareness skills because that makes it easier for them to understand their feelings and emotions. So, if you don’t want their emotions to affect their behaviour badly, it’s important for them to have a high self-awareness.
In addition to that, your child must also have high self-management, which is nothing but the ability to control their behaviour and mood, so that they can achieve their goals effectively.
Develop Your Child’s Social Awareness Skills
A child with high social awareness knows how to understand others opinions and feelings, and then responds to them accordingly. In other words, social awareness is nothing but the ability of your child to analyse and understand others’ perspective and then react to a situation accordingly.
So, as a parent, it’s your duty to teach your child how to respect other people’s feelings and opinions so that they can interact effectively with them.